Toast To The Lassies

A traditional Burns Night ritual, this toast should be a light-hearted lampoon of the lassies' (few) shortcomings. It was originally a thank you to ladies attending for the meal served but it has since evolved into a witty speech about the female sex. It should not be offensive and should end on a conciliatory note. Illustrations from Burns, or from first hand knowledge of the subject, may be used. Burns loved the lassies, and so should the guest delivering this toast. He should finish the toast with a tribute to the lassies present before asking the the men rise and drink "The Toast to the Lassies".

Reply From The Lassies

Always delivered with grace, charm and wit, this savaging of the lads' crude dispositions and social inferiority is always accepted with good humor by the menfolk present. In much the same tone as the toast to the lassies, the guest delivering the reply should end on a conciliatory note before asking the lassies to rise and toast their lads.